At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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