Fine. I'll sleep in my office
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
