You just made me feel so damn special
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
