Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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