I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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