what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
