he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
