..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I intend to get homeless drunk
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
