I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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