i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
