I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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