youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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