this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
