I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
