My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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