is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
