Heybabeimwearingurpanties
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
