thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
