oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
