finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
