I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
