my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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