Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
