you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
