No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
