I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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