if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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