im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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