capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
