Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
