You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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