you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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