Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
