ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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