Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
