He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Use "feeling words"
Yay
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
