Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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