there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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