Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
