He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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