Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
