i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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