We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
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The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
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I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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