I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
