so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
