this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
