Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
