How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
