Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
