how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
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