Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
