Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
