we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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