Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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