Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
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I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
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Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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