This girl is more easily done than said...
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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