I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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