OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
