I feel like abortions should bother me more
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
