I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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