Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I am one with the molecules
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
