We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
